Grief Has Never Followed a Script: Rethinking How We Support Loss in a Modern World

Grief has never followed a script.

There is no magic bullet, no one-size-fits-all formula, no clearly defined steps out of pain. As Dr Lucy Hone reminds us, everyone grieves in their own way.

The way we grieve, and the ways we support it, continue to evolve.

For most of human history, grief was shared, ritualised, and witnessed. Cultural and religious practices gave loss structure. In many cultures, including my Spanish heritage, death was mourned at home, surrounded by family and community, with time and ritual to say goodbye.

Today, grief is often carried alone. Death is medicalised, rituals are shortened or disappear, and mourning becomes a private burden. And then we wonder why so many people struggle.

Most people do not seek grief counselling or therapy. Instead, they cope informally; with friends and family, self-help books, distractions like exercise, or quiet one-way conversations with photographs. Formal therapy is usually only accessed by those experiencing prolonged or complicated grief, which is only around 8–10% of people.

Death is inevitable, yet it’s one of the experiences we’re least prepared for. Maybe it’s because, deep down, we know how devastating it will be, so we avoid facing it until we have no choice. We don’t talk about it, we feel unsure how to support those who are grieving, and we rarely plan for it.

This is the question that continues to guide my work:

What if technology, designed with care and ethical restraint, could better prepare us for the death of our loved ones, as well as our own?

Not by replacing human connection or clinical care, but by enabling symbolic presence, allowing continuing bonds with clear boundaries, and making support more accessible for anyone navigating loss.

I’m spending time thinking about what that could look like and where the boundaries must be.

First posted in LInkedin, 15 FEB 2026